Occasionally the character wheel spins of its own accord, presumably reacting to some inadvertent gesture. But then, when we try to drag them to the Start icon, the camera keeps losing our hands and the icon snaps back to its starting position. After a few seconds of trying, we decide to go with the default course and characters to save ourselves the hassle. We're supposed to drag our desired character icon to the 'Start' icon at the bottom of the screen. Riders, like Kinect Sports and Adventures, requires you to select things on the menu by moving your hand back and forth across the screen to scroll through options, then holding your hand up in front of an icon to select it.
It takes fully five minutes to get off the menu screen. Joined by fellow Friend of Eurogamer Jon Blyth, I stand in front of Sonic Free Riders with my negative preconceptions tucked away in a black box at the back of my mind. Sonic and friends (and far-fetched, barely recognisable acquaintances) are still stuck to those questionable hoverboards. Racing games are supposed to be fast and precise, but Kinect has a bit of lag and prefers to use broad gestures rather than small movements. Let's be honest: it's not looking hopeful. It's got an all-star cast - you remember Wave the Swallow, right? Perhaps Sonic Team thinks that taking the controller away entirely will solve the series' congenital control problems. Why SEGA has chosen this particular racing game to resurrect for Kinect is a question for the ages. Unfortunately, here it is, back yet again. "A complete waste of time, effort and the planet's resources," said Ellie. It was, as anyone could have predicted, even more awful. The only way to make it worse would have been to add dodgy motion control - and lo, that is exactly what SEGA did with Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity on the Wii. It was convoluted, impossible to control and inflated beyond all sane proportions by one of the most nonsensical stories in game history (even by mid-noughties Sonic spin-off standards), narrated by voice actors with the cadence of malfunctioning robots.
It's the worst racing game I've ever had to play except Donkey Kong Jet Race. Remember Sonic Riders? No? That's probably because it was awful.
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